Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Case of the Disappearing Blogger

Sometimes when I'm watching tv, I'll sit with the laptop in my lap and just surf around the internet and blog hop. {Like I got nothing else I ought to be doing or anything, like folding those sheets over there} Anyway, on occasion, I'll run across a blog along the way that seems to have just suddenly gone stagnant for months, sometimes even years, and I always wonder... where do those bloggers go?

I mean, they appear to have been posting day after day, or at least on some regular basis, and then suddenly they just stop. Without saying a word. Without a final post. Without saying "hey, I decided you're all losers/this just sucks/this takes too much time so I'm quitting/taking time off/going away for awhile/getting back to my real life."

Instead, they just suddenly stop posting and sometimes with a gadget up that shows hundreds, or at the least dozens, of followers who are probably left wondering... what happened?

Sometimes they are actually people who visited your blog regularly, and you visited their blog regularly, and you at least thought, if nothing else there was some semblance of a blog friendship, though I know by virtue of those very two words, blog and friendship, it's all really fleeting and very often, not authentic. I guess in my mind, I want it to be, but I realize that it's easy to hide behind a screen - I suppose we all do it to some degree, me included {since I need to update my picture with a more up to date "fat" picture. What can I say ... southern food blogging and lack of exercise might have added a few pounds.}

Sometimes a person here and there will post some pretty crass comments on my Deep South Dish Facebook fan page, and then when I respond, they change their tune, and apologize and LOL say "oh I was just kidding," and I'm thinking, "um yeah, there really is a real person on the other side of this screen y'all... duh."

Anyway, the bloggers...

They post regularly and then one day, they just stop writing. Sometimes they leave their blogs up, and you keep going back every few weeks or so for months, just to see if they came back - but they never post again. Sometimes they just delete their blogs altogether and vanish from the face of the earth. Sometimes {at least I have suspected}, they just assume new identities and lurk. Sometimes they start new blogs but then abandon them too.

I know I don't have a huge following at either of my blogs, and if I disappeared overnight, maybe a few people would wonder what happened to me, but many more likely wouldn't really think much about me and would just move on. But personally, I can't imagine just disappearing from my blogs and never saying goodbye. I guess I just don't like loose ends and I need closure more than some people.

What about you?



  1. Hi Mary,
    This blogging thing is a strange animal no? I blog, because I want to interact...and make new friends, such as yourself. I look forward to hearing from you, and seeing what's going on in your world. There is a giving and receiving going on. I blog, because I can interact and share and learn about things with which interest me, which I don't find in the real world..No fear of ridicule. It is a safe place, a more happy part of my day, to get out of the real world for awhile. I would agree that if I decided to be done w/blogging...I would, like you say goodbye...that I am done for now...because we have forged a friendship. I don't hear from everybody who follows, and I don't write daily or weekly to some of them..there are a few who I am in contact with on a regular yourself..and I would definatly miss you should you go away, and unless something unforseen occurs, I would at least let all of you know my intentions.

    For we are friends....take care Mary,,,I'll pop in again some time.

  2. Yes, well you know I am so cynical that I will have to self-moderate this comment.

    Sometimes I think people get ill or something devastating happens in their lives -- that accounts for a few -- but many times, I think soemthing happens to precipitate a sudden, goodbye-less departure -- that they get disgusted or angry or hurt. For myself, I struggle with a "this is fake and vapid" mindset about blogging and bloggers in general. Then I try to calm down and understand that for every 10 people blogging out of vanity and falseness, there will be one who is real and giving. And I stay for that one.

    How noble of me! *laff*

    And of course, my Buddhist belief that everything is ephemeral comes into play sometimes.

  3. Hi Mary,

    Unforturnately, sometimes life just gets in the's happened to us too. I miss some of the bloggers that are gone. I'm glad you're still here. I don't always have time to post a response but I do love to read your blogs(especially when I get a few moments at work, on my cell). I guess what i'm saying is we shouldn't lurk so much and we should leave more comments. I hope you'll always be here. I agree, if you dont want to blog anymore, a goodbye would be nice.

  4. I enjoy reading your blogs and would miss you if you stopped. I don't always comment, actually very rarely, but I do read every day.
    If you were to stop your blog/s, I would like to know. I guess like you I need closure too.

  5. Faith, the blogging world is a bit odd. I just don't get why people just vanish without a single sentence of goodbye, I'm closing shop!

    Holly, I'm sure that you are right. I guess a lot of bloggers maybe don't realize that a lot more people read and don't necessarily comment then read and do.

    That's true Cyndy. Maybe that's part of the problem? I know there are a lot of people who just pass by quickly, read and don't stop, because at times I also do that. Maybe some people don't understand that this is part of the blogger experience?

    Karen, I promise if a couple of weeks go by without my saying something on my blogs, then something definitely happened to me!! I just couldn't walk away without a closing statement. I'm always the one to get in the last word LOL! :)

  6. I always feel guilty when I do not blog for a while. It makes me wonder the same things. ARe people wondering what happened to me? LOL Not like I have many people that read!

  7. A couple of weeks ago, I cleaned up my Google Reader feed and I discovered blogs that I had forgotten about, that had just stopped posting like you said. It felt weird and abrupt. I hoped they were okay and just made a decision to stop. I would never just stop posting (well, unless I died or something), I would have to explain and say bye.

  8. But Tracey, even if you don't post often, you appear to continue to interact with other bloggers from time to time tooe, so people for the most part probably just figure that you're busy.

    I've done that too Pam when cleaning out my reading list. That's what is so odd to me. Some bloggers post regularly and interact with their readers regularly, and then apparently they just vanish! I guess some people don't think much about it, but not me... I always wonder what the heck happened! I would have to say bye too.

  9. I'm with you. I feel like I've developed a relationship with some of my fellow bloggers. It would be weird for me to not "sign off" somehow should I choose to conclude my leaving a barbecue without saying goodbye to the hostess and maybe a few friends or neighbors.

    Nancy Drew that I am, amd out of curiousity and concern, I actually tracked down one blogger that just quit posting about a year ago. We had maintained occasional friendly correspondence before she just disappeared. So I sent a "how are you" email and she kindly responded, updating me about her latest ventures. I was happy to hear that she was doing well... but who has the time?

    I promise that if I ever leave the blogging world, we can still be pen pals. : )

    This post actually reminds me that I need to clean up my blog roll. There are a few at the bottom that haven't posted in forever.

  10. Hi! I'm so guilty! I went a long time recently without a post but I never intended on it being permanent so I didn't say anything. In fact, I think mentioning being busy right now and won't be posting often means that we have made a commitment to post a certain amount of days a week or something. I know if I did that I'd never post so instead I do it at my own leisure. I love that there are some people who read it and look forward to it but I guess I never thought that anyone would wonder where i've gone. LOL Anyway, life gets in the way sometimes and as we all know blogging is fun but time consuming so that seems to be what goes first. I'm happy when I post regularly though so i'm going to do my best to be consistent. :-)

  11. I have been guilty of disappearing from my blog in the past. The first, I began to feel was pointless because it was an opinion blog from a few years back, when I was completely new to blogging. I didn't think anyone ever read it and I got tons of spam comments. Then, earlier this year I decided to give blogging another shot, moved over to blogger, and life got in the way. Now, I'm back... with a vengeance.

    But, that's all about me. I really wanted to say that I love the southern hospitality expressed in both your blogs, especially all the little quotes and pictures. Well done!

  12. Hi Lindsey! Thank you. I'm guessing you haven't run across one of my "southern style hissy fits" over here yet. ;) I tend to let my alter ego show up on occasion.


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