Sunday, January 8, 2012

Tired of Parenting YOUR Knucklehead Children

Boo, keeping watch for the knuckleheads.
Well, not your children of course, but other people's children, and more specifically children who happen to live in my neighborhood.

We seem to have an awful lot of them around here these days too. I've lived here long enough - because I apparently didn't have enough sense to take advantage of all those big loans that other people got, to buy big houses they couldn't afford, to impress who knows who (and now they want mortgage relief). If only I had known my neighborhood was gonna go to pot, I mighta gotten me one of those too. Well, I didn't and thanks to the real estate crash and greedy insurance companies, I am stuck here now.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah... I stayed in this far too little, cramped, but now paid for, house with the crappy tiny, galley style kitchen, full of old appliances, not nearly enough storage, and 1001 handyman problems (and still haven't stopped bitching about it either, although yes, even though it doesn't sound it, I truly am grateful not to be a bag lady and to have a roof over my head) long enough to see this transition of children happen around here a couple of times. When my son was in middle school and high school, there were a lot of kids around his age and not many younger. Then they graduated and moved on with their lives and left all us old folks behind. And, for awhile, it was just us old folks.

Since the greedy insurance companies used Katrina to pad their big fat greedy pockets, and rob homeowners blind by legal extortion, people abandoned their homes in my once lovely and quiet neighborhood, and moved away, or inland, but then when they couldn't sell, they turned into landlords.

We seem to have turned into a giant cesspool, I mean subdivision, of home rentals now. It's kinda like living in a college dorm, except spread out over miles instead of just floors. They are loud, obnoxious, they have no respect for the property they live in, their neighbors, or the neighborhood, because frankly they'll probably only be around 6 months, a year, maybe two. Who cares?! With the renters came a lot of folks who seem to have, well, a lot of children. A lot of rude, disrespectful, snotty, little  knucklehead children, apparently without a lot of sense, guidance or discipline.

My master bedroom is so small that I could potentially kick the window out with my foot if I tossed and turned too much. That's my sweet little Boo up there and he likes to lay at the foot of the bed where he can see out that window behind him and keep me informed about what is going on out there, with all of these darling children.

I've had to run teens off from congregating in front of my house, mostly because Boo goes nuts, but also because what starts as two of them congregating, quickly becomes a dozen in no time, kids with no concept of boundaries, throwing trash and candy wrappers in the yard, knocking things over, messing around with things in your yard. I've had to run their animals out of my yard because they think my yard is their personal toilet. I've had to holler at them from spinning wheels in my yard with their go-carts and tearing ruts into my grass. I've had to run them off from throwing balls around our cars. Mercy.

This morning about quarter till 10 Boo was raising all kinds of cain, and I had to go out to the box anyway to put yet another piece of government waste at it's best back in the mail to FEMA to let them know that yes, after I received my notice of insurance, returned my payment, to which they mailed me my policy, and then later, mailed me another piece of paper wherein I must sign and return to confirm that I previously received my flood policy, one of 3 insurance policies I now have to carry on my house thanks to those aforementioned damn greedy insurance companies.

So, where was I again?

Oh yeah. So I walk outside and see the cutest little blonde headed boy, maybe I don't know 10, with a gun. A BB gun I'm sure, but he's pointing it at something down the street. This is the THIRD child I have seen, and run off, walking the streets with BB guns since Christmas, which means one thing and one thing only. They are shooting innocent birds, squirrels and yes, apparently at least shooting at pets. But I'm ahead of myself. Two teenagers got smart with me until I screamed at them to stop or I was calling the law, and those knuckleheads took flight.

So I walk out into the street and see that this precious blonde headed little boy was apparently taking pot shots at the cutest little white dog, a Chihuahua or maybe even a Russell Terrior. And then, as if he has a pang of conscious for shooting at this dog, he calls the dog over to him by name, meaning the knucklehead at least knows this dog and maybe it's even his own family  dog!

Well, then the knucklehead must feel somebody staring him down, because he turns around and takes notice of this fat old lady standing in the middle of the street watching him, and he decided apparently that it must be time to go home and perhaps watch some cartoons or play video games, instead of shooting innocent animals. He walks away from me down the street, taking a few glances over his shoulder to see if I am still watching him. I am. Heck he even stopped once, turned completely around and waved at me. Or flipped me off. My eyesight isn't good enough to tell which one.

I don't budge, but I stand there, watching him, until he walked into a yard a few houses away, purportedly his own yard, I would assume, with the dog in tow. Knucklehead. If I would have had the energy I would have gone to his house to chat with his parents, but truth is, they're likely just overgrown knuckleheads themselves. To be honest I was sorely tempted to tell him that if he came back around here with that gun, that I might be tempted to show him what a real shotgun looks like. Yes. I have one. Yes, I sure do know how to use it. No I wouldn't really do that. But I just might have thought about it. Just sayin'...

Parents, if you must buy a BB gun for an inadequately prepared child, it is YOUR duty to teach them how to be a responsible gun user. It is YOUR duty to make sure that the gun is secure and put away when you are not at home, or I guarantee your child will be wandering the streets with it, shooting at innocent animals. It is YOUR duty to teach your knucklehead that a BB gun is solely for yard target practice on an inanimate target, to improve upon their gun skills for when they have a real gun later in life. That you don't just shoot a living thing for target practice. For God's sake, get your nose out of your damn iPhone or Blackberry for a few minutes and direct some attention to that child you brought into this world for a change, would ya? I done raised mine.

And y'all wonder why I haven't been posting? Geez Louise.



  1. ROFLOL! I understand, Mary. Rental properties surround mine on three sides (this old house is on a corner). Youngsters feel they can come and go across the property and often DO when I'm not home. I can tell by the bread-crumb-type trail of candy wrappers. Loud with voice and music, they're exemplary models of what happens when the gene pool is small and mDNA becomes concentrated. Bless your heart! It's a wonder you manage to post such an awesome food blog. Hugs and understanding from Leakesville (and Mayree's Deep South Cakery)!

  2. Oh Lord girl God Bless you! Before I moved here to Ky 6 mos ago I lived in the city where the houses are so close you could here someone breath in the next one. KIds having kids, out all hours of the night pushing baby buggys. It's terrible.

  3. LOL Mary, girl's gotta let off some steam every once in awhile I suppose but these people who live around me give me lots of "grouchy old fart" material I swear! Corner properties are the worse. My neighbor directly across from me is on one & I watch these kids cutting across her lawn all the time even though she's got a little homemade fence around her yard! Knuckleheads I tell you!! Thanks for stopping by!

    Hey Bunny (another Mary!) These people are making me rabid I swear LOL!! If I survive this it'll be a miracle. So happy to see you again. Hope you're doing well.

  4. I found your site while looking for a recipe and I just want to say, "Thank you and I love it!" I'm up here in NJ...actually South Jersey as we call it, 'cause it's a "whole other country" to borrow a phrase from the great empire of Texas, from the folks north of Trenton. We are more rural down here and more conservative in our views, I believe. I have bookmarked your site and will now be a regular reader. Oh, and thanks for the chuckle...what you wrote is so true. Keep on blogging. :-)

    1. Thanks Laynie! This has become my sort of hissy fit blog here lately - I don't post much here anymore since the food blog keeps me crazy busy but I guess that's probably a good thing LOL!!

  5. Oh, how everything you talked about struck a chord with me. Our new neighbors let their (apparently) non-working slacker 20-something sons practice drums during the week while they, the parents, are at work! I swear, it's loud enough to make my teeth vibrate! Even though all the houses in our neighborhood are set way back from the street and are on big lots, it still sounds like they're in our garage (my husband kindly informed me the drums are so loud because the slacker sons have them hooked up to amplifiers)...I've quickly learned it takes only one bad neighbor to make life unpleasant for the whole neighborhood. I would go over to talk to the parents about it, but I'm already leery of them. The only time I've ever met them is when they came over to tell us that the carpet installers from Home Deport that were working at our house had "frightened" and "stalked" their preteen daughter - who just happens to be a holy terror in her own right. (It was nonsense, my husband and I were home with the installers the whole time they were here). But they definitely didn't strike me as reasonable people. What ever happened to common sense and civility?

    1. Isn't it crazy? Well, I pray that your neighbor's son quickly loses interest in his drums. I used to hear a kid who apparently was sent outside to practice some kind of a horn - either that or he practiced with his window open! Apparently he lost interest because that finally stopped. There is a screecher over in that same general vicinity & what I mean by that is somewhere over my privacy fence, I often hear a woman literally screeching all the time at somebody. When I say screech, think like Howard's mother on The Big Bang Theory if you've ever seen that show. Finally one day I was out in the yard working and jsut got fed up with it so I shouted out "Lady would you PLEASE stop with the screeching already?! Could you possibly remember that you DO have neighbors??" That was enough to catch her attention that time anyway LOL!! ;)


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