Funeral Foods and Funerals in the South

The Cajun and I attended a funeral yesterday - his grandmother passed away early Sunday morning. She was 95 and had been bedridden for about the last year. Though she had been very alert the past few weeks, she had also sort of been what we call 'between two worlds' lately, so we knew it would not be long. She passed away peacefully in her sleep.

Attending the funeral mass, traveling in the funeral procession and then of course, the family gathering afterward reminded me of our southern traditions relating to funerals, and I told my husband "I need to blog about this."  Being a southern girl who has never lived outside of the south, I can't say for a fact, but I'm pretty sure, that there are certain things about Christian funerals that are fairly unique to us southerners.

Of course there's the whole wake, or viewing thing. This is often held the same time as the funeral service, and sometimes in the church, but the event can often be spread out over two days and involve both. Sometimes the wake is held the evening before the funeral at the funeral home, with the funeral service the following day. Sometimes it is all done at the church.  Either way, the "viewing" involves having an open casket, where people can visit the deceased one last time and offer a prayer for their soul. The family gathers and there is a small service, and if the deceased is of the Catholic faith, sometimes there is the reciting of the rosary.  If the funeral goes into two days, the following day, there is a small funeral service, and then a procession to the gravesite. And, if services are held in a church and the deceased is Catholic, there is almost always a Mass.

We have a large Catholic population down here of course, so the chances of you attending a southern Catholic funeral mass is pretty high if you attend a funeral down here. Course that isn't unique to the south at all, it just reminded me of how prevalent the Catholic faith is here. Personally, I am a "non-practicing Catholic," though most other Catholics would tell you there is no such thing. Once a Catholic, always a Catholic, they say. But for a number of reasons that I won't go into here, my church {sigh} has essentially rejected me - the primary reason being that The Cajun and I - both Catholics - chose not to marry in the Catholic church in this remarriage. In short, I consider myself to simply be a Christian these days, but it is funny how old habits and that connection to the Catholic Church tend to stick with you.  Though I do not take communion, I still find myself reciting the responses and prayers of the Mass. It's just an ingrained part of anyone raised Catholic I guess and I'm betting that all of that standing, sitting, kneeling and chanting must really freak out those of other faiths the first time they experience it at a funeral mass! 

One of the most prominent things that is traditional in the south is what happens during the funeral procession of vehicles to the gravesite. The Cajun's grandma had a large family - many came from New Iberia and Baton Rouge, Louisiana, which was her home until she met her fisherman husband and ended up here in Biloxi, Mississippi, raising a very large family in some very hard times. My father in law is no stranger to hard work and he is truly a traditional southern daddy, that's for sure! There were and still are, of course, strong ties to Louisiana for my husband, his father and the rest of the family, which is why my hubby is deemed "The Cajun" in much of my writing.

All that family and the funeral procession was a good mile or more long as we traveled from Saint Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church in Ocean Springs, Mississippi, to the Biloxi Cemetery, taking up what seemed nearly the full length of the brand new Ocean Springs bridge.  I have to give kudos to both the Ocean Springs and Biloxi police departments for their excellent escort service. They did a fantastic job of diverting traffic and keeping the funeral procession together all the way to the  Biloxi Cemetary. There were at least 5 police cruisers escorting us the entire trip.

The thing that I think is unique about our processions down here though is what happens with other drivers.

If you are traveling our roads in one direction and you see a funeral procession traveling on the other side of the road in the opposite direction - yes, even on a divided 4-lane highway - chances are you will see the traffic on your side - opposite of the direction the funeral procession is traveling - pull off of the road and come to a stop. Not the traffic in front of the procession, but the traffic on the other side of the road!

Because you see, when a funeral passes down south, we pull our cars off to the far edge of the road, or off of the road, turn on our headlights, put our cars in park, and pay our respects by waiting for the funeral procession to pass. A prayer or two is usually offered for both the departed and their family. The police officers who stop to block the intersections to allow the procession to remain together, step out of their cruisers, remove their hats and hold them over their hearts as the cars pass - for everyone, no matter who you were.

Honestly, no matter how many funeral processions I have been in, just seeing this still brings tears to my eyes every time, because it reminds me of how connected we are in the south to one another, even those who we do not personally know.

The other thing that we do in the south has everything to do with food ... of course! And yes, it crosses all faiths.

Besides the food that is always immediately delivered to the house, once the funeral service is over, and the procession has carried the deceased to their final resting place, all of the friends and family gather, either returning to the church hall or else to a private residence, and the party begins. Done pot luck style and never in a restaurant, everybody brings their favorite dishes and all of the family and friends gather, eat, chat and catch up with one another and reminisce about the departed.  Don't be at all surprised if somebody breaks out some music and the dancing and general merriment commence - a celebration of life and the passing of a loved one into eternity in their next life is reason for celebration down south.

Click here to see a few of our traditional southern funeral foods.

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Funeral Foods and Funerals in the South