Friday, October 21, 2011

The Gladys Files - I Am the Grouchy Old Fart

Remember Gladys Kravitz on Bewitched? I'm feelin' a little bit like her these days. I know that I haven't written much lately so the few readers I did have are dropping like flies around here. Sorry about that folks - all that cooking has been keeping me very busy these days. Since leaving my Big Legal Career and working from home the past few years, it's not that I'm at a loss for material, believe me. It's just a time issue really. Besides, it seems that while I do get a lot of material to write about here lately, seems the majority of it has to do with my neighbors, and seems a lot of it is grumpy.

I swear y'all, I am a nice person. I get along with most people. I am compassionate. I have empathy. I have paid it forward. I have performed many random acts of kindness. When a disaster hits, I never miss an opportunity to reach out.

But these people who live by me make me want to spontaneously combust into a string of four-letter words most of the time! I guess it doesn't help when you are at home all the time and you don't get away from them. Ever. And there's always something going on. So.... seems I've become a bit of a Gladys here in my old age. Might as well write about it.

When I was growing up there was a fella who lived on the corner of the street, slightly catty-cornered to our house. He was, I believe, military retired and still sported a crew cut, though his was pretty gray. He was known as "the grouchy old fart" of the neighborhood, because for one, he didn't like the fact that all of us kids would tromp across his pristine front yard taking short cuts, or to retrieve a ball we accidentally kicked over there playing kickball. He also wasn't too fond of all those stray 4th of July bottle rockets that would accidentally pop in his carport over his car when the bottle fell over. I can't imagine what his problem was with all that!

Well, karma will always get ya in the end.

Today I ran off a group of about 6 boys who were, not all that well, throwing, or mostly missing a football in the busy, and narrow street in front of my house. My front yard is small and my house closer to the road than anyone else's house, and these boys who apparently can't catch, wanted to "go long." The football was bouncing all over the place, way up into other people's yards and consequently into other people's cars.

Now, in my defense, none of those boys live anywhere near me. In fact, I know where they live. Up a side street a few houses away. When I went outside and told them, while I wasn't at all opposed to boys tossing a football around, would they please take their football practice elsewhere, like perhaps, down the side street, OVER IN FRONT OF THEIR OWN HOUSES... they balked a bit. One would even say talked back. And then they ignored me. Like I wasn't there.

Two things I've learned I really dislike in my old age. Being disrespected. And being ignored. Especially from children who need to learn how to say "yes, ma'am." So I did what any modern Gladys would do.

I came inside grabbed my iPhone and got it on video. Oddly, they must've suddenly decided they were tired, because when they saw me, they left. And went away. Up the side street. On their own street. But I noticed they weren't throwing a football by their parent's cars.

What? I was just shooting a video of this beautiful day!

Course, yes I do realize that there is no telling what other mischief I'm liable to endure as a result of this pleasant encounter. But, in all fairness. That's only liable to make me even more grumpy.



  1. You go Gladys!!

    By the way, we call our two dogs, The Kravitz Brothers, because they are always spying on our neighbors by peeking through the slats of the fence, at the dogs behind us, or worse, at our neighbors while they are in their spa. Nothing like having a large black lab leer at you while you are trying to relax!

  2. Hey Tracey! LOL, that's funny about the spa - I bet that is a little bit unsettling. My little dog does that peeking thing too through our big gate. Actually, it always makes me smile when he peeks through the fence like that because my old black lab used to do the very same thing,

  3. Oh Gladys...this is too real. I guess I have been a Gladys all my life. By age 30 I had most of the stinkers in the neighborhood putting me on their "let's get her back list". And after hundreds of teenagers in my life as a teacher, I know I made lots of them upset at my "rules". But now that I am ancient, I still see a few of these stinkers and one said to me last week in the grocery store that he now makes his kids behave and tells the "neighbor" kids off...gosh, do I accept that as a compliment or a cut? Whatever....I think you done good. Wish I'd had a video cam back in the day...I coulda made some serious money....tee hee, Oma Linda

  4. Linda, I'm thinking that's a compliment LOL!! I didn't realize you had been a teacher - that's a job I could NEVER do, especially with the mouths they have on them these days!!

  5. If parents would teach their children respect for other people's space and adults would respect that space it would be a better world. Ifyou live in a close enviroment you need to have a little consideration for your neighbors or move where you can act a fool!!!!

  6. Teresa, ain't that the truth??!!!! I have quite a few neighbors who qualify for that moving someplace where they can act a fool thing. You're so right - it boils down to respect and being taught to respect other people's space too and not acting like you live on an island!

  7. I am so laughing about this...

    Why? You threw them a curve-ball...grouchy old lady (not that I think you're old, of course) who is technologically savvy! Love it!

    Instead of shaking a cane at them and screaming "get off of my lawn!" you went for the iPhone. Priceless.

    Thanks for stopping by and for your comment on my pot pie post. I miss reading your posts here and at Deep South Dish. I'm just too darn busy lately. I'm lucky if I get a post up, let alone read another blog. I do think about ya though, and check in on FB from time to time. I hope that you're having a nice fall and the little "bug" that inspired the latest chicken and noodle recipe (YUM!) leaves you soon.

  8. I know Krista - shoulda seen the looks on their faces! They totally were not expecting that. I know what you mean - I rarely get time to visit around the blogs like I used to either. Heck I barely have time to WRITE at this one anymore LOL! Not sure if that's a good thing or not. Thanks for stopping by!


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