Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Evolution of My Backside



Yes, I mean My Ass.  Hope that I doesn't offend anybody too bad, but the truth is I do swear sometimes. I don't intend to. I don't set out to.  But it happens. Usually when I'm frustrated.  Truth is you're liable to see more of that happening around here, cuz let me tell you ... I have had some frustration here lately. So there - the truth is out, but y'all already figured I ain't no angel, right? 0:-)

Here it's an anatomy thing though, so does it really count?

You see, I have a problem. I opened that dresser drawer up there last night - I guess I could be fancy and say my lingerie drawer - when I was gettin' ready to take my bath and found that, despite having a drawer full of panties, there were none I could wear.  You see, my butt is growing. And growing. And growing.

Part of that just comes with age ladies and there's nothing much we can do about it except exercise more.  {Ahem.}  Part of it also comes from that so-called secretary's spread for those of us who, most of our working lives, sat in a chair at a desk.  It doesn't seem to matter much if you're up and down five bazillion times thorough-out the day either, you still get it.  How fun!  And there are people who blog full time, and basically sit on those aforesaid rear ends all day still. And... lucky me, seems I also inherited some of it because most of the girls on my Mama's side of the family seem to have naturally "enhanced" buttocks. Let's just say, we all got back.

Most of this I'm gonna blame on blogging. I am!  If it weren't for blogging, I know I would exercise. I swear I would. Really! Okay. Okay. I really do HATE exercise. I used to force myself to exercise and every once in awhile I start back, for two seconds.  But seriously deciding to turn a hobby blog into a full time blog - oh yeah, nevermind that it's a southern food blog - really did do a number on this gal's backside.  So I'm gonna have to buy some new and bigger improved drawers, as in panties, not dresser.

Course, there's always some hope. Yes ladies, these are beautiful Victoria Secret panties so I will save them because ya never know. Sometimes miracles do happen.



But these. These I'm thinking it's probably time to let go.



Yes. Those are thongs. Just sayin'...

.

10 comments:

  1. Or you could just go commando.

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  2. Honey, don't blame blogging. Blame Katrina. You clearly suffer from PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Derriere.

    I have it too.

    *sigh*

    Your underpants are very presentable. I could not dare show a pic of my poor old raggedy bloomers.

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  3. don't ever give up on pretty/cute undies.

    no age is too old for a thong. they're more comfortable than most underwear, so my grandchildren may be scandalized 50 years from now...

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  4. Do you hear me laughing out loud? Too funny...between you and Holly..and I am with here on this one...would'nt show my old gatchies on the blog...why heck they are just getting comfortable. Never wore a thong...somehow, that does not seem appealing, but rather annoying...thanks for laugh..I have blogger but too, but had it long before I began blogging.

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  5. Lisa you are bad. :) Seriously, no I couldn't! I can't even sleep nude - I feel too uncomfortable. Is that not weird or what?

    Oh Holly, that's a good one!! :)

    Oh too funny Lora!

    Faith I am rolling over here too! You gals are the best.

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  6. Keep the thongs. I wore them throughout my pregnancies because they still fit when your ass spreads.

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  7. OH BOY, you ALL have me rollin' here. Hate to say it but Lindsey is right.............nuff said HAH! I love your blogs Mary.

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  8. I can sympathize. Clearly the reason that I can't lose that last 15 lbs. is because I am a food blogger. At least that's what I tell myself. lol. And yeah, heredity. You should see the spread on the women in my family. Impressive. I do exercise...almost every day, but we just happen to trend toward the "hour glass" no matter what...even when I wore a size 4...I had "junk in the trunk"...and I was hungry.

    I appreciate that you can tell it like it is. : )

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  9. You described my panty drawer to a teeeee! I have one drawer full of the gorgeous matched Vic Secret bras and panties and anohter one with my basic cotton panties which I do need more of !

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  10. I have told my doctors that I suffer from W.A.S. (Wide Ass Syndrome)...it seems to run in my family as several other family members are also affected and evidently there is not cure other than the dreaded d&e...and clearly if i wanted to diet and exercise I would not be stricken with this...being from the south I would have hoped for at the very least a ....bless your heart....may have to find some doctors in my area that are from the south as well...just a thought...does riffling through the panty bins at vs count for exercise....sure hope so!

    ReplyDelete

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