Giving Thanks Week – Day 2

On this Thanksgiving week, I am thankful to God for His provision.

It is a scary thing to lose a job. It is especially hard to take when it occurs at no fault of your own. I mean, if you fail at your job or you don't perform in some way as was expected of you, it seems easier to accept. But when there are mass layoffs and cutbacks, and you get the hatchet for no reason except that you were a number on a piece of paper, or in my case, a hurricane comes through and overnight wipes out thousands of businesses and jobs, it is a difficult thing. You are shocked. You feel lost. Fearful. Full of uncertainty about the future.

In 2005 I was 48 years old. I had been working for 33 years at that time, 21 of those in the legal field. And in a matter of 24 hours, my entire working life changed when overnight, Hurricane Katrina stripped away the job that I had held for the last 12 years. 12 years! That's a big chunk out of my career. I had worked hard. Very hard. I had given so much of myself to that job, working my way up through the ranks, gotten several promotions, and was finally making a substantial income for the first time in my life. I had a lot of prestige and status and respect in that position and then suddenly in a matter of hours, it was taken away. I had no idea how we were gonna make it with that loss of income.

But, what I did not realize at that time, was there are no surprises with God. He knew this would happen. He had a plan that would arise out of it all, and I would have to learn what it meant to trust in Him. I learned quickly what it meant to put my faith in God when there were no clear answers evident to me, and in turn, I also learned that He indeed will sustain us, just as He has promised He will in His Word.

During this time, He has also done some work in me as He tends to do, teaching me what it is to be still and quiet, to be reflective, to be settled and without stress. He showed me in many ways, I had become prideful and put my worth in my performance. I had in fact, made that job a god, but that's another story for another day.

As I began to turn my fears over to Him in faith, as I began to express gratitude for what He had done in my life before, as I learned to lean on Him and to trust Him in the midst of the uncertainty, I saw His plan fall into place.

Things that He had orchestrated for months before Katrina, things that would eventually cover us financially, things I could never have known or seen or expected or planned for, fell right into place. And even though the job market was soft after the hurricane, followed by this financial crisis our country now faces, He has continued to sustain us through it all and we have not wanted for anything. Even when we are not perfect, God still loves us. Isn't that amazing?

We may not know what tomorrow brings, but for God there are no surprises. He knows. And when we learn to let go of the fear, to release our worries and anxiety to Him, to say Father God, I don't know how this will end but you do, He will provide, and for this I am eternally thankful.

In His Love,



~

Giving Thanks Week – Day 1

On this Thanksgiving week, first and foremost, I am thankful to God for not giving up on me.

Mine was a stubborn conversion.

Oh, I always believed in God, believed there was a God, but I admit there were times where I just didn’t think God was there for little ole insignificant me. Or that He could even be bothered with such as the likes of me. After all, He was this big, powerful, distant and scary God that couldn't be bothered with the day to day antics and sinfulness of these people of His.

And through a lifetime of personal struggles and dealing with both the internal and external demons of this world, it was many years before I finally learned knowing God, really knowing the love of God, was really all about relationship with Christ Jesus. That this whole human experience from its beginning, was a love story. God's love for us yes, but also, His desire that we would choose to love Him, because He gave us that choice. We can choose to either love Him, or reject Him. It could not be true love if there was no choice.

And yes, as a young woman, I often strayed away from this love to the delusions and desires and temptations of this world, and I made gods of many people and many things. But, in my heart, I rarely strayed far or for long, and even through my stubbornness and my near rejection of Him, God stayed faithful to me. Because He knew my heart. And even though I was blinded by my own ignorance, and even when I could not see it, His love sheltered me and protected me and kept me safe, His arms wide open and waiting for my return to Him.

I have seen that the more that I have given up control of this life, the more that I have leaned on God and made God a crucial part of every single aspect of my day to day life, that even when I fail to achieve that with which I may have set out to be or do, still, I have seen God’s blessings poured out on me.  Because He sees my heart.

No, I am not where I need to be.  And in fact, I now realize that this human experience is a lifetime of learning and progression toward that time where we will take one last and final breath in this world, to move into a whole other experience of the physical presence of God. But thanks to God’s grace, His forgiveness and His enduring and patient love for me, yes, for little ole me, I am not where I used to be either. God lifted me out of that pit. And for this I am eternally thankful.

In His Love,



~