Sunday, January 3, 2010

Men Are From Mars ... The Sick Bed Edition

Happy New Year Y'all!  Those of you who read my mindless banter regularly know that I was sick most all of this week, with the flu.  Or if it wasn't the flu, it was the worse cold in history. I thought I would share with you what my (not so) wonderful husband, The Cajun, did for me, while I was sick.

I dedicate this column to my dear friend, Penniwig, who I somehow know will totally understand it. :)

✗ He made sure that I had absolutely nothing (everything) to worry about so that I could (not) get my rest and recover.

✗ He (forgot all about taking) took care of the puppy, (not) keeping him right on his schedule (forgetting) when it was time for him to get up and go to bed, and (not) taking him out regularly, so that he did not have any accidents in the house, which of course if the puppy would have (I got to) he would have cleaned right up.

✗ He made sure all of the animals were (not) fed when they were supposed to be.

✗ He (totally forgot) remembered to keep up with the kitten so that he would not get into the potpourri bowl and spread potpourri all over the entire family room from one end to the other.

✗ He (forgot to take) took out the garbage so that it didn't smell(ed) up the house (something awful).

✗ He (did not empty) emptied the dishwasher, (didn't even think to) put everything away, and even filled it back up and ran it (filled it back up? Are you kidding me?)

✗ He (never) remembered to check and empty the cat box, which was really lovely.

✗ In fact, I never had to get up once (if I had not gotten up) to tend to animals (it would have been a disaster around here).

✗ He actually (never once) vacuumed the carpet knowing that with all of these animals it has to be done daily.

✗ He (never once) considered making the chicken noodle soup I wanted but not confident he would make it right, he (never gave a thought about) thought that cleaning the kitchen (so it) would make it much easier for me to get my soup started when I did get up.

✗ He was (never once) at my beck and call at all times and was rarely (always) gone in case I needed anything.

✗ He (never once) offered to rub my back constantly.

✗ He could not think of enough things (a single thing on his own) to do to make sure I was comfortable and healing quickly.

✗ He didn't barge(d) into the bathroom (and scared the crap out of me) when I was trying to just relax and soak in the tub with my essential oils and my peace and quiet.

✗ (If) I didn't (actually) have to worry about (everything) a thing around here, (I might have been able to focus on nothing) but getting plenty of rest, drinking lots of juice and fluids and just focusing on getting better.

I am happy to report that I am on the mend, and actually feel WONDERFUL today, yay!!


As for you honey, I love you, I really do, (but) you are so (not) the nurturing type.

11 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, that is soooo my husband when I am sick. They are helpless, I tell you, helpless.

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  2. Oh m'dear, as soon as I saw the title of yer post, I rushed right over with my biggest flail -- let me at him -- dear, dear, DEAR! Oh, the fiend. Ah yes, as ye knew, I know the type...very well, being married to one and having been married to many of the same type (I don't learn!!!) -- ARGH, ye poor thing -- well I'm so agitated I think I'll end this comment before I really give in to the ire I'm feeling -- !!!

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  3. That's a bummer about being sick with no nurturer! But I am glad that you are feeling better! Hope you have a wonderfully blessed new year! :)

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  4. Thanks ladies... course I'm just having fun at the husband's expense.

    In truth if I gave him a list of specific instructions of what exactly to do, he'd be more than happy to do it. Course... who wants to do that when you're sick? You just want somebody to take care of you!! What? Can't they read our minds for pete's sake???

    Ah well, at least I'm feeling good now, right? ;)

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  5. I have to say that my husband totally stepped up when I had the flu in Sept. Not that he had much choice when I was out of commission for over 2 weeks!

    I hope you're on the road to recovery!

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  6. Oh my, they can be clueless can't they? Glad you're feeling better!

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  7. I'm so sorry your husband wasn't more help when you were sick. Oh, and thanks for letting me know you stopped by my blog! Come back often.

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  8. Poor Mary- I'm glad that your are at least feeling better! For some reason, men don't come with the mind reading gene, like we women do! LOL
    I guess women are the better caregivers!

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  9. Mary,

    My hubby is so like this too! And to boot - HE IS A NURSE! That said - he is a great nurse - just not the best nurse for me.

    Feel better this week!

    Tracie

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  10. I had to laugh (not at you, but WITH you) because I can remember a similar situation in my life. Once many years ago, when our baby was in the hospital, I came home to find a sink full..OVERFLOWING...of dishes. I was mad, he had no idea why.

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  11. Men, can't put 'em out with the trash and can't recycle 'em.
    Glad you're doing better.

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