Damn You Auto Correct!

If you own a smart phone chances are that it auto corrects - meaning when you type a word the phone doesn't recognize, it offers up what it thinks might be the right word, and if you don't delete its suggestion, it replaces the word for you. Chances are, if you have a smart phone, you have probably typed a text, hit send and then later saw where it changed a word, to one you never intended it to mean.

I don't know if you've had a chance to discover this site yet, but Jay Leno has done a few segments on The Tonight Show to highlight some of these and I gotta say, it is hilarious! A rating warning. There is usually a bit of cursing & some risqué language involved, so I have to caveat this with saying it's at least an R-rated site, and not probably not vieweable at your workplace.

Check it out sometime - if you own a smart phone that auto corrects, you'll probably relate, but even if you don't, you'll be sure to get a chuckle at some of the screen shots.

Damn You Auto Correct

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Men Are From Mars ... The Sick Bed Edition

Happy New Year Y'all!  Those of you who read my mindless banter regularly know that I was sick most all of this week, with the flu.  Or if it wasn't the flu, it was the worse cold in history. I thought I would share with you what my (not so) wonderful husband, The Cajun, did for me, while I was sick.

I dedicate this column to my dear friend, Penniwig, who I somehow know will totally understand it. :)

✗ He made sure that I had absolutely nothing (everything) to worry about so that I could (not) get my rest and recover.

✗ He (forgot all about taking) took care of the puppy, (not) keeping him right on his schedule (forgetting) when it was time for him to get up and go to bed, and (not) taking him out regularly, so that he did not have any accidents in the house, which of course if the puppy would have (I got to) he would have cleaned right up.

✗ He made sure all of the animals were (not) fed when they were supposed to be.

✗ He (totally forgot) remembered to keep up with the kitten so that he would not get into the potpourri bowl and spread potpourri all over the entire family room from one end to the other.

✗ He (forgot to take) took out the garbage so that it didn't smell(ed) up the house (something awful).

✗ He (did not empty) emptied the dishwasher, (didn't even think to) put everything away, and even filled it back up and ran it (filled it back up? Are you kidding me?)

✗ He (never) remembered to check and empty the cat box, which was really lovely.

✗ In fact, I never had to get up once (if I had not gotten up) to tend to animals (it would have been a disaster around here).

✗ He actually (never once) vacuumed the carpet knowing that with all of these animals it has to be done daily.

✗ He (never once) considered making the chicken noodle soup I wanted but not confident he would make it right, he (never gave a thought about) thought that cleaning the kitchen (so it) would make it much easier for me to get my soup started when I did get up.

✗ He was (never once) at my beck and call at all times and was rarely (always) gone in case I needed anything.

✗ He (never once) offered to rub my back constantly.

✗ He could not think of enough things (a single thing on his own) to do to make sure I was comfortable and healing quickly.

✗ He didn't barge(d) into the bathroom (and scared the crap out of me) when I was trying to just relax and soak in the tub with my essential oils and my peace and quiet.

✗ (If) I didn't (actually) have to worry about (everything) a thing around here, (I might have been able to focus on nothing) but getting plenty of rest, drinking lots of juice and fluids and just focusing on getting better.

I am happy to report that I am on the mend, and actually feel WONDERFUL today, yay!!


As for you honey, I love you, I really do, (but) you are so (not) the nurturing type.

menoPAUSE or How Come I Can't Remember Squat?

I went into the office in my house today three times. To do something. Something that by the time that I got there, I had no idea what it was. Three times I walked into that room and just stood there not knowing why I was there.

Funny thing is, by the time I did manage to remember what I had been going in there for, I realized that it was to get a piece of scrap paper - or in my case, an envelope saved from junk mail that I use as scrap paper - and a marker, so that I could leave that note right up there on my glass storm door to remind me to do that on Saturday.

In other words, I kept forgetting to do something that was supposed to remind me to do something else. And I had to do it while I was thinking about it - 3 days early.

It's bad enough to be a woman with all of the clutter our minds have to contend with already. We always have about 100 things going through our minds at one time don't we, so of course it's hard to keep it all straight, right? I know I can blame at least some of my own personal mind clutter on that.

But from somebody who has always been a major multi-tasker, able to handle a whole slew of unrelated tasks all at the same time, someone who used to be able to cite a client file number strictly from memory, someone who never missed a birthday, anniversary, or special occasion, somebody who was able to keep a long to-do list in my head without having to write anything down, why does my mind now seem to have abandoned me, uninterested in keeping track of such things?

Now, I stand with a remote in my hand, positioned in front of the television, but wondering what it was I was going to do.  Look for a show to record? Check the Tivo list? See what time something came on?

Or pick up the laptop to do something, get distracted with Twitter, or an email, or a post I was working on and then just stare at the keyboard, having completely forgotten what it was I originally intended to do.

Or walk to a room on a deliberate mission 3 times, and forget why.

Is it just because at any given time there are still a hundred things going through my mind? And there just isn't enough room left in my 52 year old memory bank to keep it all up there in an organized manner anymore?

Or is menopause just really that cruel?

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With a heart to help others and a generous spirit, Joe and Linda Wingo founded Angel Food Ministries in 1994 to provide food for friends and neighbors who were struggling financially. Today the Angel Food program now is helping provide food relief to more than 500,000 families each month to communities throughout the United States. Click here to learn more.